London, 2022. Before the Queen departed this mortal coil, the pound jumped off a cliff, and they installed a revolving door in Number 10. Blissfully unaware of All That Would Be, I, my sister-in-law and my niece and nephew, caught an early coach to the Capital. Our mission? The Natural History Museum and Big Ben. Sorry! Elizabeth’s Tower.
We were fortunate in that arrived at the side of Buckingham Palace and saw the changing of the guards. Our sight was partially obscured by a postman’s van. Presumably he’d taken a wrong turn. I like to think of him fondly, slumped low in the driver’s seat:
‘Maggie! I’ve gone to the palace. Yes! You heard me right the Palace! I KNEW I should have used the bloomin’ SatNav’
The guards changed and marched around a bit and stood for much longer and out of all the things I’ve ever seen, it was one of them. You can’t say much more than that.
I asked a policeman if he wouldn’t mind assuring my nephew that this was Buckingham Palace. The good news? Yes! It was. Also (he pointed) ‘those are the kitchens.’ So. Now we all knew.
Onwards we trooped, towards the Natural History Museum. We had a map, we had a plan, we were prepared.
And it. was. glorious.
We had a map. We marked off each area we visited and though we spent an eternity there and still didn’t visit every single place.
This is a Giant Sloth and let me tell you that Sid the Sloth wishes he had this height. What a legend. What ribs. What glory.
The dinosaur area (LOOK I’M NOT A PROFESSIONAL MUSEUM PERSON. I DON’T KNOW THEIR NAMES. Oh wait. Exhibit? Exhibit.) was heaving with people and yet, it was magnificent and I got to see some dino skin and lemme tell you, their skincare routine? Not it. Not it at all.
I quite liked all the mineraly-rock room. My niece thoughtfully pointed out one of the precious gems on display as a gift for her mother and what can I say? The girl has taste.
Unfortunately the gem was a) in a vault and b) not for sale. Pfft. Minor obstacles. Easily overcome!
In the low, low priced gift … place … I bought dinosaur jelly sweets for the folks at work. They were delicious and inspired a poll. (The sweets. Not my colleagues.) It’s always ‘Why are you here?’ and ‘What do you do for a living?’ and never ‘What’s your favourite dinosaur?’ A simply disgusting oversight. So that’s why we, in my little office, asked the question of nearly the entire company.
And they answered.
I won’t tell you who won out, but I will say that I’m disappointed that more people didn’t vote for the Pachycephalosaurus who are clearly the spirit dinosaur of a British-man-with-a-bulldog-tattoo emerging from a pub after a football match.
(Trust me on this one.)
It was a long day, but a day that was very much worth it. We got to meet up with more members of my family, which was delightful, and so in short – it was a wonderful day and I would 100% recommend going. (With your own family. Sorry. You can’t have mine.)
If no one has asked you lately, please allow me:
What’s your favourite dinosaur?