When I wrote this, I was knee-deep in a degree, and was technically studying full time and working full time and trying to learn a language and do various writing projects and be a human. (I know – disgusting!) I do not say I juggled these things well, but juggle them I did …
I’d love to say that there’s a secret to doing everything at once – however, I do have some advice. It’s a touch unhinged and not medically approved, but there you go.
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE [LACK OF] BALANCE
The key thing is – the absolutely vital thing that you have to realise – is that you 100% cannot do it all. However, you can delude yourself that you can. Reality is like, 50% perception. So don’t succumb to the lure of proclaiming ‘I can’t do it’. No, no, no. You can do it.
If you avoid everything because you think you can’t do it – you won’t do it. (Whatever ‘it’ is.) You miss 100% of the food you don’t eat, you know?
The actual truth of it is, while we cannot do everything, we can also do far more than we think. We are capable of far more. We just get dull, because of social media, short attention spans, and self-doubt. Throw them out.
TRY AS MANY THINGS AS YOU CAN
Have a go at that hobby you always thought you couldn’t do. Give that language that looks impossible a try. Pick up that instrument. Take a class in taxidermy. Sure you may fail, but isn’t that part of the trying? Embrace failure – it’s part of the fun. Perfection holds you back. Bleh. Get rid.
I have no skill in embroidery or crochet – however, I have embroidered five garments with dinosaurs, UFOS, cows, octopus, and planets and various family members have blankets made by me. The trick is to try.
I’m studying English Literature and I am rotten – clinically rotten – at writing essays. But I do them anyway. And I feel my brain stretch a little more with each one. The score may be low, but I’m proud of it all the same.
Give yourself permission to absolutely crash and fail – but also give yourself permission to enjoy the journey. Sometimes the failing is the funnest part.
It’s the weekend as I write this, I’m about to try oil-painting for the first time. I cannot paint to save my life. Everything is 2D and in primary colours and my single digits year old niece can colour better than me, but I’m still going to try. I’m going to paint an octopus giving a flower to a planet. Why not?
YOU’VE GOTTA FIND THE SPARK, Y’KNOW?
Life is short. It’s full of tragedy and hardship and people doing awful things to each other. Sorry to drag you down like this. You’re probably already aware of it, and I’m sorry you’ve had to find out.
I think it takes courage to be optimistic, it takes bravery to find the joy and hold onto it. I don’t know what your life looks like – you don’t know what mine does either – however, I am certain there is joy to be found; even if the looking feels hard. It’s there – the joy, I mean. Even if it is as simple as a blue sky or spring blossoms.
That’s what I have to remember. It sounds naive and horribly uncynical, but there it is – look for the joy. It’s easy to be a cynic. And there’s so much joy in going out there and saying yes to things. (With the exception of, you know, illegal no-good-for-you-or-others stuff).
EMBRACE THE SEASON AND KNOW WHEN TO REST
I hate the whole ‘this season of life’ statements. Loathe it. But it fits, which is disgusting, so I’m using it.
The thing is – you just have to get on with the doing. Isn’t that horrible? That’s my secret. Pile more and more on until you can’t do anything more, until your life feels like it is bursting at the seams. Then burn-out, refresh, recharge, and do it all again. It’s an annual tradition.
(Very healthy life tips from me – you’re welcome.)
I enjoy piling things on, but over the years, I’ve learned to watch myself and realise ‘oh, okay, time to slow down’. I pause the language learning, I don’t do the next term of choir, I clear the weekends. I let myself take it slow; I try not to shame myself for it.
And then, when I’m ready, I pile it all on again and I enjoy it all. The ebb and flow of life is something I lean into. There’s times to be busy, and there are times to slow down.
Everyone’s situation is different and the burden of life responsibilities can be heavy, but we are capable of more than we think. Even if it’s a small thing, like taking a cup of tea and sipping it outside or downloading a podcast to learn something new.
So I guess, it just all boils down to this: Try. Give it a go – you might be pleasantly surprised.
of words & books 