Life

how to survive without a laptop

Well. So much for posting twice a week. I do have a reason for my absence; my laptop (or rather, the laptop belonging to my brother) decided to retreat behind an eternally black screen. I was not overwhelmingly happy with this decision.

PANIC LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW

You know, like ‘party like there’s no-‘ fine. my blogging skills are rusty.

It is a second of extreme crisis – that moment when you realize that technology has Failed You. History fans out before your very eyes. (Interestingly, history is mostly represented by Mongols). How on earth did they survive without a laptop, you demand of Wikipedia.

(Oh. Wait. You can’t look up anything on Wikipedia. Your laptop is as responsive as a stone.)

crying.gif

ACCEPT YOUR FATE

After brief moments of panic in which the future is hopeless and your life void of joy, you realize that … you can survive this. The Mongols did. The Vikings did. Robin Hood didn’t need twitter or, or a blog to have his valiant adventures.

(Actually. He didn’t exist. Probably. Except in your head. Diverted, a moment of quiet, sad reflection is spent on this thought.)

You can survive this absence of technology.

You can use your iPad, kindle, and phone.

You can cope.

EXIST. LIVE- NAY. THRIVE!!

Suddenly you find that you aren’t wasting time, whiling away the hours surfing the web. (You are versatile – you find other ways to waste time.)

Instead of being distracted by your blog, you write Greenwood unintelligibly by hand, your letters formed with grace and skill that a drunken chicken would be proud of.

You write twelve pages.

And then, you snap. You’ve had enough. Why?

  1. You have to edit a project
  2. It just … is a different experience, writing without a laptop (You like it. to an extent. but not to a very large extent. And certainly not for an entire six months)
  3. You are never – in a million years – going to be able to reread your handwriting

TO HECK WITH IT. BUY ANOTHER LAPTOP

It doesn’t have to be flashy. It just has to have Word, a (working) screen, and a keyboard. (Definitely a keyboard.)

Yes. It will cost money, and yes, Dickens and Austen authored books without the aid of computers (and yes, that makes you feel like a second-rate writer, but … pfft. Time travel. They could have time traveled.Hypothetically speaking.) but you know what’ll it save you?

Squinting at your own handwriting.

horror.gif

So, I have a new laptop. His name is Ivanhoe. He is fast in the way of glaciers, with more memory than a gnat. But he has Word, a screen, and a keyboard. And so life is good. Nay. Life is beautiful.

Books, Life

famous books I haven’t read

Every self-respecting bookworm seems to have read these books. I am both self-respecting and a bookworm … and I haven’t. Ah, paradoxes.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I’ve watched the black and white Laurence Olivier Pride and Prejudice, the 1995 BBC series, the 2005 film, ‘Lost in Austen’ and ‘Austenland’. I have never read the actual book.

Why? Because everyone seemed to swoon at the very thought of Mr Darcy. Being a contrary lass, I decided that I would never do the same.

I shall pick the book up one day, and share the magic with everyone else. Until then, Georgette Heyer and I are getting along swimmingly.

I think I was quite influenced by the 1995 series though. When my sister, her friend and I visited one of the homes used in the series, little me was quite puzzled and asked where Mr Darcy was. (He wasn’t there. It was a bit of a downer.)

The Lord of the Rings trilogy by J. ‘Lots of Rs’ Tolkien

I know what the books are about. Of course I do (*cough* fanfiction *cough). But I’ve never actually read them.

Though I find him to be a fascinating gentleman, I am not particularly enamoured with Tolkien right now. I’ve read his translation of Beowulf, however, his commentary of the thing that has boggled me somewhat. The book is at home. I am not at home at present. (And there lies my excuse.)

Oliver Twist [or basically: Anything by Dickens]

I’m trying to read one of Dicken’s works, but I am feeling rather daunted by his reputation; apparently, the fellow uses lots of characters. Tons of characters. Multitudes of characters.

A Tale of Two Cities is on my readolution list, but I’ve been avoiding it (and doing a splendid job of it, if I do say so myself). Oliver Twist isn’t on that list, but I’ve been quite happily ignoring that too.

But … I will attack a Dickens. Soon. This year, in fact. Not today. But soon.

well, probably
Books, Life

Readolutions: Head loppin’, Crime and Windmills

18845062641_f93552bce2_z
via Flickr

I don’t often read Classics, but as resolutions are commonly made every new year, I’ve made a list of my own.

These aren’t resolutions though, these are readolutions. (And yes, that’s a terrible, terrible pun of which I am inordinately proud.)

Lorna Doone by R.D Blackmore

It’s been sitting on my shelf for the better part of a year. No more! I shall dive into this forbidden romance. Or at least, I think it’s a forbidden romance. Does it end happily? I hope it ends happily.

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

I’ve never read Dickens. In fact, singing ‘Food, Glorious Food’ or ‘Oom Pah Pah’ and quoting ‘More? You want some moarrrr?!!!‘ is almost the sum total of our association.

This ignorance will end (hopefully) this year (probably). Doesn’t this one have a guillotine? Regretfully, I don’t think the Scarlet Pimpernel will be making an appearance.

Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevesky

Other than the title’s similarity to War and Peace, I’ve no idea what this is about. Probably Russia, but I’m no expert. I bought it second hand. Perhaps it will improve my mind. Perhaps it will be a glorious adventure.

Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

I ordered this thinking it would be a quick read; that I could puff my chest out and announce to the mortals about me that I’d read it (‘…and did you admire the way Cervantes wrote that particular passage? No? You haven’t read it? Oh.’)

There is no chest puffing. It came in the post. I was not expecting its … volume. It was very voluminous. It still needs reading. I’ll have a chance at intellectual snobbery, just you wait. (And wait. And wait.)

It would help if I could pronounce the book’s name. (Don Kicks-oaty? Don Key-oaty? No?)

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/c8/d8/8a/c8d88a3dadfd9f8aae1d2e6d8ab57dd5.gif
Meanwhile, those in the know.

King Solomon’s Mines by H. Rider Haggard

I might have read this in my Project Gutenberg days – or at least skipped through it. Or was that She? I have dim recollection of something of his works. I didn’t really connect with it, for the leading lady was very mysterious and beautiful. (Read of that what you may).

The Three Musketeers by Alexander Dumas

I was going to pop The Count of Monte Cristo here but I’ve sort of read that and to even think of reading another whoppin’ classic after Don Quixote would be quite mad. The Three Musketeers doesn’t look so daunting.

I hope.

Moby Dick is not included on this list because a) I can’t remember where I stopped reading (half way-ish?) and b) it’s always good to leave a little surprise or two.

You never know, I might suddenly put up a joyful little message that Moby Dick and I are through with each other and oh! I’ve suddenly joined a whale conservation society.

Oh well. Wish me luck, I’m rolling up my sleeves and jousting with windmills.

Happy reading!