books, ness rambles, ness talks about life

2019 – it happened. also, still no grey hair

2019 wasn’t the easiest year I’ve ever lived, but it also was one full of richness and joy and growth. (Clearly, I should write greeting cards.)

Let’s do a little recap, shall we?


in a different country, but still lovin’ the same authors

Teaching abroad was an adventure. I believed it was the right place for me, but I missed home and my family and my books. And financial stability.

I earned money by freelance work (read: Fiverr – ONE DAY I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT MY SHORT-LIVED CAREER), and with some support from home and half my rent paid by the school, I was able to live and teach English. I met so many lovely people there who really blessed me. I learned far more than I taught.

I returned home and started working in an office job. And then I discovered that I had a lump in my breast. (The two … are not connected.) It was a pretty dark month, that one. I decided to plan my funeral. I got as far as a room with a coffin and some chairs. (Don’t attend, by the way, it’s going to be completely boring.)

I had an ultrasound and it turns out I have fibre-something-something. I can’t spell or remember it, but apparently – and more importantly – it’s called a ‘breast mouse’. So. Brambly Hedge never had that sort of mice, lemme tell you- Okay. Let’s stop there.

According to the doctor, I’m okay, and my funeral plans were premature. But I can’t help but view my mammary glands as ticking time bombs.

And then there’s been other illness in the family and that’s been difficult and has sucked.

i saw this online and had to recreate it. … months later and it’s still HYSTERICAL

A Hawaiian snail went extinct. Other people and creatures have had a far more rubbish 2019 than I have. Truly. When I compare my life – I mean, I know we shouldn’t – but fried parsnips, it could be so much worse. I don’t have breast cancer. And the fact that I can type that feels like some kind of miracle for which I am so. grateful.

Through the dark times and the good, God has been there. Constant. I haven’t talked a lot about my faith on this blog. I’m worried that it will sound holier-than-thou and God knows I can’t live up to that.

But God can, and so I’ll write it here – 2019 wasn’t easy, but God was good, and greater than every hardship. Under everything, joy has dwelt like a hidden stream.

There will probably be harder years – this is life, after all, we aren’t promised an easy one – but we are promised that He is with us always. And that’s true for 2019.


What – you thought I wouldn’t put anything about books in here? PFFFFT. Of course I would. And will. So let me present you with the books that made the biggest impact on me this year …

*drum roll please*

  • Keep Going by Austin Kleon This changed my life. Truly – it kickstarted a better writing routine and helped me finish writing a book and plunge into other projects. The front cover alone (‘Keep Going’ it proclaims in big letters) I’ve put it on my desk and every time I see it, it reminds me to do just that: keep going. Funny, how two words can mean so much.
  • The Bible – New Living Translation I’ve grown up a strictly KJV kind of girl, but let me tell you this – reading it in modern English, stripped of thees and thous has made it a lot easier to read. You don’t have to think past the older English as much. I’ll always adore and go back to the KJV but man alive, the NLT has really made a difference.
  • The Lord of The Rings by J.R.R.Tolkien I know – I’d never read them before. But I have now and what touched me was the overall backdrop of it – of a world, an age that was fading away and how what was new was uncertain. I ended it in tears. Frodo is so much better in the books than on film. Also, the songs and poems? Dope. They’re dope.
  • Till We Have Faces by C. S Lewis I seldom find books in which I connect so strongly to a character – but I did with this one. I am going to have to read it again, I think. But more slowly this time. I rush when I enjoy a book, you see, gobbling it up instead of savoring it.

There are more, I’m sure. I’ve enjoyed many books this year. I haven’t been keeping my goodreads updated because I’ve lowkey got a conspiracy theory running about Amazon and how they’re probably gathering all the books I’ve read and items I’ve purchased and guessing what kind of a person I am and I don’t need that kind of stress okay?

I’ll give the information to Facebook, instead, via Instagram.


Thank you so much for reading my blog. This is a place where I unload my brain and amuse myself (one of my besetting sins is that I find myself funny – even if the reality, and other people’s groans, point to the contrary.) and the fact that you’ve stuck around and read these posts? Thank you. You’re pretty awesome. Tell me how your year has gone? What’s the best book you’ve picked up? What’s the worst?

Next week brings a new year, and with it, new adventures.

See you there!

adventures and awesome fashion sense await!

*re the title of this post: if my hair goes grey it means that i’m one step closer to the wolf pelt hair i’ve been aiming for ever since i decided it would be awesome to have wolf-pelt hair. i haven’t actually pictured it clearly in my head but i think it would be amazing. Yes, I am a mature adult – why are you asking?

12 thoughts on “2019 – it happened. also, still no grey hair”

  1. YIKES you scared me. And made me laugh at the same time, somehow, though I felt guilty for doing so. Also, hello, I’m finally commenting on your blog after reading it regularly and perpetually *intending* to comment on it. Glad to hear that you’re okay, but I’m sorry about the illness in your family. You’ll be in my prayers.

    I really need to read ‘Till We Have Faces; it’s been on my list for a long time. I finally read The Wheel of Time Book 1 this year. That was surprisingly fun. I know the series gets wobbly later, but I’m going to remain in denial about that until I finally stop enjoying it. Which may not happen. Here’s hoping.

    1. Sorry! And don’t be guilty. WELCOME TO THE BLOG’S COMMENT SECTION. Don’t worry – I *intend* to do many things … if I did them all I’d be a kung fu master speaking at least twenty languages and also be a proficient florist and horse rider and possibly a spy too.

      Read it! Take the plunge – pay attention towards the end, you’ll know the place. The whole book is surmised in that moment.

      Ohhh, I’ve never heard of those before! I will look them up! But keep going and then if you don’t like one of them – report back on your blog so I can read it.

      Thank you for stopping by πŸ™‚

      1. Well, I have “horse rider” down, and am decent at a couple of languages, but kung fu master and florist still elude me. As does espionage. OR DOES IT? *twitches eyebrows significantly* Maybe I’m just REALLY good at it.

        I will definitely bump Till We Have Faces higher on my list. I’ve had it collecting digital dust on my Kindle for far too long. I may have to steal your Book Ban idea and try to place similar restrictions on myself. I don’t know if I have enough discipline, though. Pretty covers are my downfall.

        I definitely will share about the WoT series on my blog! There’s a lot of very cool stuff so far, so lots to talk about. And if they end up faltering, well, then there’s even more to talk about. Reading is never a waste of time for us book bloggers, LOL.

      2. YOU ARE HALF WAY THERE ALREADY. Espionage??!! Your secret is safe with me!!

        Pretty covers are MY downfall as well – but do it! It’s worth it and you can find some gems that you didn’t know you have. I’m chomping at the bit already because I’ve got a list of books I want to buy but I simply refuse to. I’ve GOT to read the ones I already own. My bank account is really chuffed. I, on the other hand, am not.

        Reading is NOT a waste of time at all. I look forward to reading your post.

  2. This year was an..interesting one for me. There were some incredible highs, but also some really low points– My word for 2019 was “joy” and well…keeping that joy in my life was kinda put to the test these past several months, lol. I’m hoping 2020 will be a year of growth and progress, I think, since there’s a lot of things I want to accomplish during it.

    But gosh, breast lumps are SCARY. I’m so glad you’re okay!!! (I had one once and got a biopsy done, but it turned out it was an insect bite that had healed improperly ??? so that was WEIRD but also a relief.)

    Till We Have Faces is such a chewy book, isn’t it? (I mean, one you have to chew on). It’s honestly one of those books that I’m not sure I like or not. But also it’s very good and makes one think.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Thank you for all of your wonderful blog posts!! I always look forward to reading them when I get my notifications! πŸ˜€

    1. Gosh! They are, aren’t they? I don’t think I’ll ever quite forget that first moment. I’m glad that you were okay!!

      It really is! At first I was a little umm okay? But then I really got into it. It’s not a *soft* book.

      Awww, thank you so much!!! I’m so glad that I encountered your blog quite a few years ago now, on blogger!

      Hey – also, if you ever need an sympathetic ear, please do DM me. Sometimes it helps to have someone just to ramble/rant to. It’s like therapy, but like, *free*.

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