the second wedding: Hong Kong edition

I have to be honest; I am not enormously fond of weddings; the forced socialization, the waiting, the hunger etc. Which naturally meant that I was destined to have two, in two different countries.

…

(Believe me, the irony does not escape me.)

I am now in possession of a ‘husband’ which was the final plot twist of my twenties, believe you me. My books have a new home, which is also delightful. (They were some of the first things I unpacked. Naturally.)

For privacy’s sake, I won’t be posting any photos that include family etc. (So if it looks like I’m just showing photos of myself … I am. A thousand apologies.) But of course everyone was very handsome and beautiful etc etc.

Our first wedding was in the UK to include my parents and family and friends who weren’t able to make it to the second wedding. And also, you know, we had to make it legal. It was laidback, intimate, we all wore fake moustaches to walk from the registrar to the restaurant, and I’d ordered so much food I forced boxes of left overs on our guests.

The second wedding? Hong Kong. Honouring and respecting my husband’s family and culture was a huge priority so we made it as traditional as possible. Over half of my brothers came, as did my sister, aunt, nephew, nieces & best friend – they all made the journey to be with us.

My husband’s family took brilliant care of them and they toured around Hong Kong, eating excellent food and seeing all the sights. And getting to know the heat. (Which was … it was very hot, but I’d like to sing the praises of very strong deodorant. It makes a difference, let me tell you.)

The night before, we each had a hair combing ceremony with our respective families. My sister combed my hair and said a translated blessing with each brush. We ate a special dumpling soup afterwards. The taste of a warm ginger dumpling is one that I’ll always associate with happiness & family.

After everyone had gone, my best friend who had come all the way from Canada to be my maid of honour, stood with me in a darkened room, many floors up, and watched the city lights that were spread out before us. It was a moment of quiet and peace.

I was alone after that, but I slept well. Which was good. Because there were five outfits, four locations, three tea ceremonies, two bouquets, and one groom waiting for me.

5:30 to 23:00.

It was a day.

We had had a killer spreadsheet that was flush with tabs, and rows and columns and other such dreadful things. Everything was timed, everyone was assigned their roles, and thoroughly briefed. Our friends and family, dear Reader, showed such generosity with their time and support. We couldn’t have done it without them. If I have any white hairs sprouting, it’s because of the wedding planning.

I planned to speak my vows in Cantonese and the stress!!! What if I mangled it?! Would I have to yeet myself out of the church? – my teacher kindly recorded the vows for me, and I found myself the night before going through them, and whenever I could snatch a moment in the morning.

My brother walked me down the aisle, looking dashingly debonair. To stop myself from crying (our wonderful pianist was playing this and I’d already cried when she sent us a recording of her playing it) I thought about the goriness of the Roman Colosseum and the awful conditions of being a slave in the Roman Empire. So. Very normal.

I reached the end of the aisle, naturally. To my groom. Naturally. The ceremony got into full swing, the Reverend asked if I’d ‘got fat’ as the wedding ring was tight on my hand (my fingers swell in the heat) (and I hadn’t SIR, things were a bit looser due to the stress of everything) and Reader, I got the vows out.

Stress over. Now? All I literally had to do was smile. And smile. And smile. And smile. I was amazed, astounded, and a-boggled with the tenacity of my smile.

Having my family and best friend there made all the difference. My new family have been nothing but kind to me and it was wonderful to see our two sides coming together.

Our plane was cancelled due to bad weather on the way home, and we spent one delightful bonus day with my new mother-in-law. Feeling content with a wedding well done, nothing could stress me out anymore and so we poured over photo albums and slept and then caught the next plane out.

… which promptly left our hold luggage in Hong Kong. It was an unexpected bonus though as it meant we didn’t have to navigate the London Underground with six pieces of luggage.

The exhaustion of the wedding took its toll on my body and I’ve battled a horrible cold, a chest infection, and salmonella one after the other since coming home. My husband has done an extraordinarily good job of fulfilling the ‘in sickness‘ part of the vow.

HOWEVER, I’m much better now. Studies and writing keep me busy. And of course, the most delightful thing of all – I now have someone who I can share it all with (not the salmonella or chest infection. I like to think I’m a sharing person but trust me, no one needs THOSE!)

It was all worth it.